Disclaimer:  The characters of Xena and Gabrielle and others belong in their entirety to Universal/MCA , Renaissance Pictures, and all the other powers that be. They are used without permission and no copyright infringement is intended. Please do not copy or cite elsewhere without express permission of the author.

This story deals with Gabrielle reconciling with her parents and Xena's efforts to be accepted by them. This story contains no violence. There are no sexually explicit or suggestive scenes, unless you consider a very thorough massage to be suggestive.

Going Home 
by Nancy M

Chapter I

The last mile was the worst. Xena had slipped from a delirium to a near death trance, and every step Gabrielle took seemed an eternity. Argo trudged on, perhaps remembering another time she had dragged her master behind her, Gabrielle beside her, urging her on.

"Just a little further," the bard encouraged, but the horse seemed to question the wisdom of continuing in the dark. "Almost there."

The lights of Poteideia glowed through the trees at last. Gabrielle pushed Argo the last few hundred paces, until they stood in the yard before her family's house. She paused there, too weak to call out.

When she had found Xena, the warrior was already beyond speaking. Apparently she had been attacked while the younger woman searched for tubers and herbs for their stew. Gabrielle only knew that when she returned Xena was unconscious from loss of blood, and there was no sign of her attacker. She had quickly bound the wounds to stop the bleeding, and only later noticed the foul stench emanating from the bandages. By then Xena was ranting in a fevered delirium.

"Who's out there?" Gabrielle heard her father's voice.

"It's me Daddy. Gabrielle."

The door flew open and out poured her mother, father and sister Lilla. For a long moment Lilla embraced her, until Gabrielle pulled away.

"We need help. Xena...needs help."

For the first time Hector looked at the travois. "You brought her here," he stated coldly.

"Daddy, she needs help. We were just north of here. I didn't know where else to go."

"No. I suppose you didn't." He made no move towards the unconscious warrior.

"Please. Let me nurse her here. She needs a healer, rest, and care, and her wounds are smelling funny and..." For the first time she allowed herself to see the seriousness of the situation. She stopped talking lest her father hear the desperation in her voice.

Lilla stepped forward just then, and put her arm around Gabrielle again. "Please Daddy. Let her stay. She can have my bed."

Hector softened at his youngest daughter's pleas. "For tonight," he said gruffly, then disappeared into the house.

Gabrielle thanked Lilla with her eyes and bent to pick up Xena. The 65 kilos caused her to strain, and she finally allowed her sister to help. Soon they had Xena resting in Lilla's bed. Somewhere outside the heard Hector tending Argo.

"Where's my old bed?" Gabrielle asked.

"We sold it. Your father said you wouldn't be back." Hecuba's voice carried apology and question.

"That's okay Mom. I'll sleep on the floor next to Xena anyway."

"And I can sleep next to the fire," added Lilla.

Gabrielle sensed something unspoken. Lilla and Hecuba glanced at each other.

Her mother spoke. "Gabrielle, you have to know how your father feels about Xena." The bard looked away and nodded. "He's never forgiven her for taking you away. Or you either, for that matter."

"I know Mom."

"And now your sister's met a nice young man. It just isn't a good time to have an upsetting influence in the house."

Gabrielle clenched her jaw. Her soulmate lay there, perhaps dying, and her mother referred to her as an upsetting influence.

"Fine Mom. We'll only be here as long as absolutely necessary. We'll not bother you any more than we have to."

Hecuba seemed relieved. She smiled, then left the two sisters alone.

"I'm so sorry Gab," Lilla began.

"No. It's okay. Really." Gabrielle took a breath and began to undress the warrior. "So. What's this about a nice young man?"

"Oh Gab, he's wonderful. He's not from around here. He's been all over the world. And he tells such stories."

Gabrielle half listened as Lilla went on about her new beau.

Just then Xena moaned. "Lilla, get me some water and clean rags please."

When her sister left, Gabrielle knelt beside Xena, and carefully cradled the warrior's head on her arm. She brushed the bangs back from her forehead and gently kissed her cheek, letting her touch linger there.

After several moments Gabrielle heard Lilla's soft tread behind her.

"Here are your rags and bandages, and some warm water. And I brought a needle and thread too, in case you need to..uhm..stitch anything." It was clear the younger woman was shocked by the sight of the warrior’s lacerations.

"Thanks Lilla. More than you know. We'll be fine now."

Lilla smiled weakly and left the room.

Gabrielle was not sure they'd be fine at all, and she went to work. She'd not taken time to properly dress Xena's wounds in camp. Now she unwrapped the bloody bandages and examined the damage.

Xena had taken two severe lacerations to her upper left arm, a spot Gabrielle had frequently tended. In addition there was a deep wound to her right thigh and a long ragged gash on her right forearm. A relatively minor cut to her left temple had been responsible for much of the blood loss.

Gabrielle methodically washed the cuts, flushing as much water into them as she dared without starting the bleeding again. She stitched one of the shoulder cuts and the thigh, being grateful for once for Xena's unconsciousness. The warrior was excessively critical of Gabrielle's suturing techniques, and she could not afford to be gentle now.

What worried her most was the odor emanating from the forearm cut. She was certain the attacker had used some kind of poison. She pulled the wound open to force it to bleed. Xena cried out, but Gabrielle held fast, milking the arm to force more blood out through the cut. As much as she hated to take even more blood from the depleted body, she knew that every drop of poison she flushed out improved Xena's chances. Then she stitched and bound the cut like the others. She doubted that the healer Lilla had gone to fetch would do more.

Finished, Gabrielle sank to the floor exhausted. She felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up she saw Xena's clear blue eyes looking into her own.

"Xena! I didn't know you were awake. I'm sorry - I must have hurt you..."

"Shh." The warrior's voice was barely a whisper. "It's okay."

"Can you tell me what happened? Who attacked you?"

Xena sighed. "Can't remember much. He surprised me. Threw his knife at my leg, so I blocked it. Forgot I wasn't wearing my gauntlet. Sliced me." She rested a moment. "I think it was poisoned. I was really dizzy when he moved in. Couldn't fight well. Thought I wounded him, but maybe not, then I passed out. And Gabrielle. He looked familiar."

Gabrielle was nodding. "That makes sense. You have plenty of enemies. Do you know where you are now?"

Xena smiled weakly and nodded. "This can't be easy for you, Gabrielle."

"That's not what's important now. You healing is."

"You did a good job," Xena whispered. "I take back most of the bad things I ever said about your healing skills."

"Most?"

"You still have hands like a sailor."

"That's funny. I always thought you liked my hands."

When Xena's breathing had settled into a soft snore, Gabrielle slipped out of the room. She found Lilla in the main room, next to the fire. Their parents were nowhere to be seen.

"Lilla, tell me about this guy."

Lilla's eyes sparkled. "His name is Thelonius."

Xena could hear the two women talking. She had feigned sleep to ease Gabrielle's concerns. But the face of her attacker vexed her. It had been years, but she was finally convinced that her was one of the slavers who tried to kidnap the village girls when Ares had taken the form of her father. He must have recognized her as a threat and tried to eliminate her, running away when he believed the poison and blood loss would finish the job. He would have been right if it hadn't been for Gabrielle.

Xena drifted into fevered sleep, but was rudely awakened by a knee on her chest and a bottle thrust against her mouth. The poison!

She clamped her lips shut and struggled against the weight on her chest. In her weakened state the attacker was too massive for her. She tried calling out to Gabrielle, but he had pinched off her nose and she dared not open her mouth to scream.

But her hands were free. Lying on her back she didn't have enough range of motion for a punch so she stuck her thumb up his nostril and ripped the flesh back. His startled scream gave her the opening she sought. She knocked the bottle to the floor and parried the blow he aimed at her face. As he drew his arm back to strike again she hooked his elbow with her leg and spun him onto the floor.

The sound of the struggle brought Lilla and Gabrielle running.

Lilla took one look at the man on the floor and ran to him.

"Thelonius! My gods - what happened to your nose?" She reached to wipe the blood from his face.

The attacker took instant advantage of the situation. "Lilla! That's a crazy woman! Help me!"

Lilla moved to comply, and as she did Thelonius slid a dagger under her throat. "Anyone follows, she's dead."

Gabrielle and Xena watched helplessly as the slaver backed out the door with Lilla.

The scene around the table was grim and contentious.

Xena had collapsed after the slave trader’s escape. No one had dared pursue for fear of Lilla's life. Gabrielle had shown the vile of poison to the healer and obtained an antidote, so at least the fear for her life had abated.

That reassurance meant little to Hector. While Gabrielle sat in silence, he ranted in anger and frustration, Hecuba cowering beside him.

"Why did that woman ever have to come into our lives? Gods, I wish I'd never laid eyes on her." Gabrielle chose not to remind him that Xena had saved all the citizens of Poitedea from slavery all those years ago. "Every time she comes into this house, something happens." Right, thought Gabrielle, like saving you from my evil daughter and grandson. "And now this. Lilla kidnapped by a slaver to be sold for gods know what." Gabrielle shook her head. Lilla was on that path by herself, long before Xena showed up. At least Thelonius' attack had shown them all his true colors. "She...she...Gabrielle, she took you away from us!" Now at last, the girl thought, the crux of the issue.

"Daddy, I left of my own free will."

"You were too young to know any better. She took advantage of that."

"She never asked me to follow her. She tried to stop me."

"I don't believe that."

"Are you calling me a liar?" Fire danced in Gabrielle's eyes.

"Of course he isn't dear," Hecuba entered the fray for the first time. "He just can't understand what you see in her."

Gabrielle took a breath before speaking, and when she did, her voice was soft.

"It's what she saw in me."

"Before her, no one saw me for who I was, who I could become. You wanted a dutiful daughter, a mother for your grandchildren. Xena saw ME. She has never asked me to be anything but who I am."

Gabrielle thought she saw a glimmer of something in her mother's eyes. But Hector remained adamant, as if he hadn't heard.

"I want her gone. Tomorrow."

"If she goes, I go."

"You left four years ago."

There was a noise from the bedroom. "And she won't leave again, if that's what it takes." Xena stood swaying in the doorway.

Gabrielle was up in an instant, reproaching her friend for being out of bed. Xena shushed her.

"This is your family Gabrielle. You can't cut yourself off. If I need to leave, I will. But you can not let me come between you."

There was silence in the room. Gabrielle took a long time to answer. Finally she said "No Xena. They are the family I was born to. You are the family I have chosen. Nothing can undo the blood that binds me to them, and I'll let NOTHING undo the love that binds me to you. Nothing,"

Hecuba drew her breath in sharply and her eyes misted as she looked at Hector. He returned her look, and inner conflict clouded his earlier certainty. They gazed at each other for several moments before Hecuba spoke.

"Those are the exact words I said to your father when he offered to leave me rather than come between my parents and me." She nodded, as if making a decision. "We cannot pretend to be happy with your choices, Gabrielle, but you and Xena will always be welcome in our home."

Sometime later Gabrielle and Xena were engaged in a heated argument. Xena still lay against the pillows, weakened but recovering, while Gabrielle paced.

"Xena, it just makes sense for me to be the one. First, the slavers know you. Second, you don't look like a good slave prospect even if they didn't know you. And third, you are in NO condition to do this."

"Gabrielle, you don't know what slavers do to girls. I won't have you subjected to that."

"That's exactly what Lilla is going through right now. That's why I need to get into that group as soon as possible. Xena, I can handle myself."

"I know. I know you can. I just can't stand the thought of..."

"Xena. Just let me do this. Lilla is my sister. She's my family. Just as you are."

Xena closed her eyes and nodded after a moment. "Alright. Let's decide on more contact points." They talked and planned for a while longer.

Finally Gabrielle stopped. "Xena, you need to rest."

"I know. Thank you Gabrielle."

"What for?"

"Just...being you. And believing in me."

"I could say the same. Rest now."

The next morning Gabrielle dressed in some of Lilla's clothes and went for a walk alone down a deserted road. Before long she was aware of a person following behind her, and almost immediately, another in front.

Every instinct told her to fight or run, but instead she froze, playing the part of a terrified maid. A powerfully smelling rag clamped over her mouth and nose, and she slipped into blackness.

A cloaked figure watched from a distance, than carefully followed the kidnappers trail.

On the morning of her fourth day of captivity, Gabrielle awoke in a foul mood. She and the other women, girls mostly, spent their nights loosely tied together under the watchful eyes of a guard. Gabrielle could have escaped a dozen times, but not with Lilla, and not with the rest of the information she had been gathering about the slavers' business transactions.

Lilla slept restlessly beside her, whimpering occasionally. Gabrielle's foul mood was the result of several things. First it was nearly impossible to sleep hobbled together with twenty other women, most of whom cried themselves to sleep. Second the food was horrendous. And third, her back and shoulders stung mightily from the beating she'd received the night before. And worst of all, she knew she had only herself to blame for it's severity. If only she had cried and begged it would have been over in a few moments. Apparently these slavers were not anxious to damage their goods and stopped the punishment as soon as the victim showed adequate signs of submission. But not Gabrielle. No, she took it in silent fury, giving no sign of submission until the guard had quit from sheer exhaustion. Curiously, Thelonius had watched, and smiled with satisfaction at her refusal to yield.

Damn stubborn pride, Gabrielle muttered to herself as she painfully rolled over. Xena's gonna kill me for being so stupid.

Lilla was awake now. The captivity had been especially hard on the girl. Gabrielle still caught her gazing at Thelonius, her expression a combination of love betrayed, yearning to forgive, and visceral hatred. Gabrielle knew the look. She worried about her sister.

"Lilla, be ready. Today's the day."

Lilla sniffled. "Okay, whatever you say Gab."

Gabrielle gave her a brave smile, and they sat together, waiting for the guard to unlock the shackles.

If all went according to plan, the slavers would have a surprise waiting them at the noon meal break. Xena and Gabrielle had allowed four days to gather information on the slavers' contacts, clients, and the identities of all the girls captured and already sold. Gabrielle had managed twice to leave notes for Xena along the trail at watering stops. Today a posse would intercept the group, free the girls, and arrest the slavers. And hopefully Gabrielle's information would lead to a much larger crackdown.

It had gone too well.

Before they had traveled a mile that morning they met two priests of Dionysus. Thelonius appeared to expect them.

"Do you have girls to meet our needs?"

Thelonius smiled broadly. "I have two that will be perfect for you."

"They are virgins?"

"Of course."

"And strong willed? The god doesn't wish a sacrifice of sheep."

"Oh yes. I tested a number before finding one that had the courage you require. And the other I have known for a number of weeks and can attest to her...perseverance." Thelonius motioned to a guard to bring Gabrielle and Lilla forward.

Gabrielle started to protest that she wasn't a virgin, but realized she could help Lilla more by staying with her. So instead she just struggled against the guard's grasp.

"You will accompany us to the temple to assure safe delivery?"

"Of course." Thelonius turned to his second in command. "Wait for me at the caves. I should catch up to you there by nightfall."

He signaled one of the guards. They shackled Lilla and Gabrielle, and then the two priests, two slavers, and two girls walked away, toward the Dionysus and their sacrifice.

The ambush of the remaining slavers went perfectly. Xena was fully recovered and the sheriffs and their soldiers made short work of the guards. All of the kidnapped girls were accounted for.

All but two.

Xena's heart was in her throat as she scanned the group for the fourth time. Her initial relief at seeing the girls were not overly mistreated turned to fear.

"Where are Gabrielle and Lilla?" Xena grabbed one of the liberated girls.

"You mean the blonde and her sister? They were taken as a sacrifice to Dionysus."

"WHEN??" Xena practically screamed at the girl.

"Maybe two hours ago. They went up that trail to the north a few miles back."

"There's still time then." Xena thanked the girl, turned and vaulted onto Argo. She had disappeared down the road a few seconds later.

Gabrielle had done everything possible to slow the group’s progress. She bore a few more bruises and lash marks as a result of her efforts, but it had worked. She knew Xena would be able to catch up.

Lilla trudged on in shocked silence. She hadn't responded to any of Gabrielle's whispered comments. She seemed beyond caring about anything but Thelonius. She continued to gaze at him, a spark of love or hope in her eyes. Gabrielle knew she would soon have to accept the man's true nature, or her heart would be forever broken.

Gabrielle heard the bird call. A moment later she heard another, slightly modulated, and in a different rhythm.

"Lilla, when I say, hit the ground and STAY there."

The dark haired girl seemed not to hear, but Gabrielle had no chance for a second warning. The raucous call of a crow came from their right.

"Now Lilla!" Gabrielle hissed, as she threw herself down, just as Xena's chakram spun over her head and clipped the heads of the two priests, knocking them down.

But Lilla remained standing. She started to turn a pleading eye to Thelonius when the sound of a whip cracked through the air, and the chakram was knocked to the ground a few inches before it would have sliced into Lilla's throat. It clattered harmlessly away.

Thelonius' sword was out in an instant, as was his guard's. Gabrielle tried to scramble away, but her chain to Lilla caught her up short.

"Well we meet again." Thelonius touched his nose. "You left me something to remember you by and this time, it seems I'm holding something of value to you." He jerked Gabrielle's chain.

Xena didn't move. She could sense Thelonius' thug moving away to her left. The two priests moaned but made no attempt to rise.

"I have a business transaction to complete. You don't seem to be in any position to stop me. So I'll just be on my way now." He jerked Gabrielle to her feet, and turned away from Lilla.

"You're wrong about that," Xena said in a low dangerous voice. In one move she pulled her breast dagger and flung it over her left shoulder, where it met the carotid artery of the thug as he raised his sword behind her. He dropped in a gurgling bloody heap.

Her own sword was in her hand now.

"Tsk, Xena. You still forget I am holding the final card. The one that matters most to you." His sword came up under Gabrielle's chin.

"So tell me Thelonius. If I spare you now, to save Gabrielle's life, you'll just take her away to be sacrificed later. So where's my incentive?" She started to move toward him, but the sight of his sword beginning to draw a crimson line on Gabrielle's throat stopped her.

"I think you see the incentive. I would, of course, prefer to not have to kill her here. The priests don't pay nearly as well if we deliver their sacrifices already dead."

"But be assured, you leave now, or she is dead. Now."

The two glared at each other for a moment, then a new voice was heard.

"No Thelonius. YOU'RE dead. NOW."

Xena and Gabrielle stared as Lilla yanked Thelonius’ head back with one hand and jerked his dagger out of its sheath with the other. She was laying it against his throat when Gabrielle stopped her.

"Lilla don't!" In the same moment Gabrielle pulled free from Thelonius. Lilla's eyes poured pure fury at the man she had loved.

"Gabrielle, how can you let him live after what he did to us?" She struggled to hold the dagger at his throat, but the large man easily pulled away.

Gabrielle grabbed Lilla and flung her to the ground as Xena leaped in, sword raised.

The fight was brief. Thelonius was skilled, but no match for the warrior princess. In the end he refused to yield, pressing an attack that could only result in his own death.

As Xena pulled her sword from his chest, Gabrielle heard Lilla whisper.

"You should have let me. You should have let me kill him."

"Lilla, shh. You don't know what it's like to kill someone. You don't know what it does to you." She held her sister close.

"I know what it's like to love someone and be betrayed," the younger girl said.

"I know. I know you do. It hurts beyond words." Gabrielle held tight until she felt Lilla begin to sob. The she kissed her gently and rocked her while the sun sank.

That night, after Lilla had gone to sleep, Xena offered to rub Gabrielle's back. They had not talked about the captivity, and Xena was surprised when Gabrielle refused her offer.

"It's just, well, I'm a little sore, is all."

"A good massage always helped that before."

"No Xena, it's not that kind of sore..."

Xena fixed Gabrielle's eyes with her own. "What happened to you?" she demanded.

Gabrielle tried to downplay it, but Xena would not be put off. She turned Gabrielle and pulled the loose blouse down off her shoulders. I'm in for it now, thought Gabrielle.

She heard Xena's sharp intake of breath. "Take off the blouse. Lie down there. On your stomach. Now." Xena's harsh words were betrayed by the catch of emotion in her voice. "Do it," she said, and Gabrielle moved to comply.

Neither spoke for some time as Xena carefully rubbed a numbing ointment into the weals on Gabrielle's shoulders and back. After awhile, Gabrielle realized it really felt quite good. She relaxed for the first time since Xena had been attacked. The fire was warm and Xena's massage both soothed and stimulated the bard. The gentle pain brought with it a delicious endorphin rush.

After a while Xena spoke. "So I figure, since none of the other girls were beaten like this, that you lost your temper and mouthed off to one of the guards. And then when they couldn't make you penitent with a few quick licks, they decided to break you. Only you, being the stubborn, prideful, stupid thing that you are, just never gave in."

Gabrielle thought about explaining that Thelonius had used the beating to test her, but realized that would only make things worse. "Yup. That's about it," she admitted. There was no point in equivocating now. She was in for it.

There was genuine anger in Xena's voice now. "After all I've taught you, this is the way you handle yourself in a situation."

"It's what you would have done. I don't see YOU giving in to them either." Gabrielle tried to play on Xena's own pride. It didn't work.

"I never would have lost my temper in the first place, in a tactical situation!"

"Oh right. Miss Submissive. That's you, alright Xena."

"Gabrielle...." There was warning in Xena's voice.

"What?" Gabrielle dared her.

"I ought to..." she stopped.

"What?"

"If you were younger, I'd turn you over my knee."

"You wouldn't dare." Gabrielle was starting to grin.

"I would and you know it," Xena replied in mock anger.

They looked at each other a moment, laughter in their eyes. Then Gabrielle got up and put her blouse back on.

"Xena?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for trusting me to handle this one. It means a lot."

Xena just returned the smile and arranged the bedroll.

Chapter II

The last mile seemed the longest. Gabrielle's feet throbbed with each step she took, and sweat stung her raw back. Gods, I must be getting soft, she thought, to let a two day hike bother me.

Of course that two day hike was preceeded by four days of miserable captivity by slavers, horrific food, little sleep, and a brutal beating. Still, she thought, I shouldn't feel THIS bad. Even Lilla's loose blouse over her shoulders hurt.

Astride Argo, her sister was finally showing interest in her surroundings. The closer to home they came, the more light shone in the girl's eyes. She even spoke occasionally. Gabrielle knew now the girl's heart would heal. Xena rode in front of Lilla, mostly allowing Argo to follow her own lead.

"Gabrielle, you don't think your folks will mind if we rest a few days at their house? Argo could use the break after the past few days."

"Why not? They did say we'd be welcome." In truth Gabrielle had her doubts, but she kept them to herself. Besides, she could use the break herself.

"How 'bout you Lilla? Can you put up with us for a couple more days?"

"Sure," the girl smiled. "But I want my bed back."

"Uh huh." Lilla had surrendered her bed to Xena when Gabrielle had dragged the wounded and poisoned warrior to her parents house to heal. "We're used to sleeping out anyway." Gabrielle thought briefly how wonderful a soft clean bed would feel under her raw shoulders and back. Oh well. She'd survived the past three nights on the ground. Why change now?

Within half an hour they were walking into the yard of her parents house. Hector and Hecuba rushed out the door to greet them. Hector swept his younger daughter off Argo and swallowed her in an embrace, while Hecuba hovered, awaiting her turn.

"We just got word not three hours ago that you were safe. Oh Lilla, we were so worried. Did they...did they harm you in any way?" Hecuba stroked Lilla's hair and Gabrielle watched.

"No Mom, I'm fine. But Gabrielle..."

"Oh Honey, we're so glad. So many things could have happened to you out there."

Xena slid off Argo as Hector and Hecuba continued to fawn over Lilla. She came to stand next to Gabrielle, a tall comforting presence for the younger woman.

Lilla was trying to tell how Gabrielle had risked her life to stay with her, had been severely beaten, and how Xena had ambushed the slavers to rescue them both. But her words were lost.

Hector finally turned to Xena. "You can put up your horse in the barn. There's feed there, and water. Then come on inside." The words were without hostility, but also without warmth. Xena led Argo away.

Hecuba bundled Lilla up the stairs, and Gabrielle hesitated. Hector turned to her them. "It's good to have you back Gabrielle. We worried about you, too." He put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her tight. Gabrielle cringed and shrank away from his touch before she could stop herself.

"Hmph. Guess you're too old for a little affection from your father. No matter."

Gabrielle started to explain the fiery pain his hug had caused, but Hector had disappeared into the house before she was able to utter three words.

So she just stood there, looking at the house, until she heard Xena's footsteps behind her.

The warrior slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her close for a moment. Then she touseled her hair and turned to face her.

"You okay?"

Gabrielle shook her head once, then nodded and looked up at Xena.

"I will be. I just don't know how to be what they want. I never have. Sometimes I think I frighten them." It felt good to talk but Xena turned them both toward the house.

"Don't change Gabrielle. I like you just the way you are. Even if you ARE a little scary. Come on, let's see if we can help with dinner."

Dinner preparation was strainrd at best. Hecuba nd Lilla worked together like a well trained harness team, never out of step or in each other's way. Gabrielle tried repeatedly to help with small tasks, but she diced the onions too big, the bread crumbled when she sliced it, and twice she backed full into her mother, causing her to stumble. Defeated, she retreated to the other side of the room and worked on a torn corner of her travel bag. Xena had wisely stayed out of the kitchen and Gabrielle could feel her gaze as she dejectedly picked at the rawhide stitching.

Xena was having her own problems. Despite Hector's earlier statement that she would always be welcome in his home, she felt anything but. He had been polite enough in a perfunctory way. But it was clear he resented her, and his grudging tolerance was only out of respect for Gabrielle's feelings.

When they all finally sat down to eat, Lilla tried to bring Xena and Gabrielle into the conversation.

"How's your back tonight Gab?"

Gabrielle had just taken a large mouthful of chicken stew, and struggled to chew and swallow before answering. Hector beat her to it.

"You have a sore back, Honey? It's no wonder, the life you lead, sleeping on the ground."

"Actually Dad, the reason my back's sore..."

Hecuba seemed not to hear her daughter. "Lilla would you pass the bread please?"

"I want it after you please," Hector chimed in.

"...is because Thelonius..."

"Oh that Thelonius. He seemd like such a nice young man. Didn't he Lilla? Wh would have guessed," Hecuba fussed.

"...didn't like my attitude. Or maybe he did..."

"Gabrielle has always had a temper. Not like Lilla at all."

"...and beat me..."

"Lilla can you help me with the wash tomorrow?"

Gabrielle just shook her head and returned to her stew. Again she could feel Xena's gaze and it comforted her. "It still hurts, Lilla, but thanks for asking."

Lilla looked at Gabrielle with sympathy. "Sure Mom. We can do wash tomorrow.

The rest of the meal was much the same, Xena attempted to make conversation with Hector, but small talk was not one of her many skills, and Hector had no interest in chatting with the woman who had stolen his daughter away from home. It was apparent he would meet the standards required of civility, but little more. The meal finally over, Gabrielle and Xena retreated gratefully to their bedrolls in the barn.

While Xena rumaged through Argo's saddle bag, Gabrielle gingerly removed the blouse and stretched out on her stomach. The nightly sessions with the numbing ointment had become something she looked forward to. But tonight there was a different jar in Xena's hand.

"No Xena! Not the green stinky stuff!"

"Yes, the green stinky stuff. I should have started using it the first night."

Gabrielle started to pull away. Xena gently but firmly held her down, as she would a child she was about to punish.

"Now Gabrielle, you know how badly you'll scar if I don't use this."

"I know," moaned the bard, "but it HURTS like Hades and I'm so sore and tired..."

"Shh. Shh. Just hold still."

Gabrielle clenched her jaw when Xena began and tried to imagine how the warrior's hands would feel on her back without the ointment burning into the scabs. The mental trick worked for just over two seconds. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away from Xena.

The warrior worked efficiently, but didn't rush. By the time she was finished it was all Gabrielle could do to not cry out. But she had born the original beating without a whimper (it was amazing the strength pure fury could give you), and she would do no less in front of the woman whose approval she so desperately needed right now.

"So you wanna talk about what's going on with you and your folks?" Xena asked as she capped the jar.

Gabrielle was startled by the question, coming from the usually taciturn warrior. She was emotionally and physically beaten, and now Xena's gesture of concern overwhelmed her. The tears she had fought for days welled in her eyes, but she blinked them back.

Xena put away the medicine and now just knelt beside Gabrielle, who remained on her stomach. They were silent for several moments, then Xena began very lightly massaging Gabrielle's lower back, careful to avoid the angry red lash marks. Gabrielle relaxed into the contact and began to unburden herself.

"My mother and I..well, we've never really gotten along. I know that's not uncommon, but it's always felt as if I didn't really belong to her, as if I was adopted and she never really accepted me. I don't know Xena. It's hard to explain."

Xena was working a tight muscle knot just outside Gabrielle's right shoulder blade. "How about your father?"

Gabrielle raised her arm to extend the muscle for Xena. "Oh, we've always gotten along, right up to the day I left home. You know, sometimes I think he's just mad at that I left him to deal with Mom by himself." Xena chuckled, and Gabrielle continued. "She can have a bit of a temper. Daddy and I used to warn each other when it was safe to be in the house. We used to joke about it, even when I was little."

Xena moved on to Gabrielle's upper arms, palming the firm biceps and working her fingers into the triceps. "And then you left home. With me."

"Yeah. Daddy's not too happy with either of us."

"There may be a way to fix that, but somehow I don't think your father is the root of the problem."

Gabrielle was quiet for several minutes. Xena finished her arms, then shifted to knead the muscles in her neck. Gabrielle inhaled deeply, then sighed.

"Xena, I get so angry with her. Before you came along there were times when I just wanted to shout at her, tell her to LOOK at me. And when she didn't I just knew it was my own fault." Xena's fingers were working deeply into the back of Gabrielle's head and neck. "I can have a bit of a temper too, you know." She could feel Xena's laughter through her hands. "But it was never okay to show it, to get mad at anyone else." She paused to absorb the sheer physical pleasure of Xena's caress before continuing. "So I took it out on myself instead."

Xena stopped the massage and turned Gabrielle's head toward her. She bent down to look directly into her friend's eyes. "Gabrielle, don't you EVER be angry at yourself because of what someone else thinks or because you think you're not what they want you to be. EVER. You are too good, too selfless to ever deserve that."

Gabrielle gazed back into the piercing blue eyes and gave a short nod. "I understand that when I'm with you. You always see me for who I am. Even in the beginning, when you'd have to yell at me about following orders and stuff, you never made me feel like I was bad, or inadequate. Just someone who needed her behavior corrected. And needed to follow orders better." Xena grinned, and Gabrielle smiled ruefully at the memory of her early training as a warrior's companion.

Xena resumed the massage, working down the sides of Gabrielle's ribcage. After a few moments she spoke again.

"So how do you feel about your mother now?"

Gabrielle snorted. "I feel like a little kid who screws up everything. She can still do that to me. I guess I still want her to approve of who I am."

"So I noticed." Xena was working Gabrielle's left shoulder, gently manipulating the joint, pulling the arm back until she could feel the lats relax. "Can you remember being real little, and when you'd hurt yourself, running to her for comfort? Do you remember how much she loved you then?"

Gabrielle was lost in thought for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice was sad. "No. If I was really hurt or scared I went to Daddy. I never wanted Mom to see me cry. I wanted her to think I could handle anything."

Xena was working the right shoulder. "Well there's a trait you still have."

Both women were silent for a while. Xena moved down to Gabrielle's feet, rolling her thumbs into the soles, then bending the leg and extending the Achilles tendon. Then she moved up the ankles into Gabrielle's muscular calves.

"So you never leaned on her, just needed her?"

"No. Because I never DID need anything from her. Except her approval."

"Maybe that's why she doesn't understand you. You never let her mother you."

"Xena, my earliest memory is of Mom taking care of Lilla as a baby. She was just so...wrapped up in her. Lilla was her whole world. She kept telling me I was a big girl and could take care of myself. I thought it was what she wanted, so I did."

Xena moved up Gabrielle's thighs, kneading her hamstrings, quadracepts, then her buttocks, and finally working her lower back again. This time she worked deeper into the muscles, almost to the point of pain, but somehow knowing just when to ease off. Carefully then, she began to work into the areas when the lash had left the red weals. Gabrielle started to protest her discomfort, but again Xena held her gently down. Gabrielle realized she had the jar of numbing ointment and was starting to rub it in. Gabrielle's protest turned to a low moan of pleasure.

"So you've always wanted to show your mother how independent you were, because that's what you thought she wanted you to be. When in truth she wanted you to be a dependent loving child who would be a dutiful mother to her grandchildren."

Xena rubbed Gabrielle's back and shoulders deeply, now that the numbing ointment had taken effect. She pulled and worked each shoulder blade, walking her thumbs down each side of the girl's spine.

"And instead," she continued, "you were a bold intelligent young person whose talents were more than she could comprehend and whose dreams were beyond anything within her understanding."

Xena worked a while longer as Gabrielle pondered the discussion. Gradually Xena eased the strength of her caress until just her fingertips ran over Gabrielle's back. The she stopped and shook her head.

"Silly girl. Of COURSE you frightened her!" She soundly swatted Gabrielle's rump.

"Ow!"

"Come on. Time for bed. My hands are aching and you don't have a single tight muscle left in your whole body."

Gabrielle didn't move for several moments. Xena busied herself stowing and arranging their gear. Finally Gabrielle rolled off the fur to allow Xena to arrange it for sleeping.

"Xena?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"Hmm."


Xena held Gabrielle close as they waited for sleep. The girl still needed the reassurance of her touch. It had been an emotional week for Gabrielle, starting with Xena's poisoning, then Lilla's kidnapping, four days of captivity by slavers, a terrible beating, and worst of all, a return to a family who trated her like a stranger. She hugged her closer, wishing she could protect her from all the ills of the world.

Xena believed it wouldn't be hard to repair her relationship with Hector. The man wanted what every father wants - to be the most important person in his little girl's life. Little girls grow up and fathers eventually accept that someone else has become their hero. But the daughter will always need her Daddy to be there, to love her. Gabrielle would find a way to tell him that.

Xena's own relationship with Hector was a little more complicated. She would have to earn his respect and trust, and overcome his resentment. Normally she wouldn't give two dinars for someone else's opinion of her, but this was Gabrielle's father and the gulf between them must hurt her terribly. She thought she just might know a way to bridge that gulf.

Bt Xena could only hope that Gabrielle and her mother could reconcile. She wasn't even sure her friend had seen the resolution Xena had led her towards. She needed to find the answer herself. Xena could only start her on the path.

The warrior took a deep breath, and as she exhaled, Gabrielle snuggled against her arm, already asleep. Xena kissed the top of her head and closed her eyes.


Hector was alone in the kitchen the next morning when Gabrielle entered. He waited a moment to see if Xena was following, and then smiled hesitantly at his daughter when he saw she was alone.

"Hi Honey. I owe you an apology. Lilla told me about your back."

Gabrielle returned his smile. "It's okay Daddy. You didn't know. But I'll take a raincheck on the hug. I've been missing that."

Hector straightened and smiled fully now. "You got it Sweetheart. Come, sit, and eat some oatmeal."

It had been almost too easy. The two sat in companionable silence as they ate their breakfast. More than four years had passed since Gabrielle had felt this comfortable with the man she once worshipped.

"Can you stay a while, Gab?"

"A few days at least, Daddy. We need some rest."

Hector's face darkened at Gabrielle's choice of pronouns.

Gabrielle saw his reaction and felt her own defenses slip into place. But instead of retreating, she decided to talk.

"Daddy, I love you, but this is my life."

Hector nodded. There was no anger in his eyes, only sadness. "I know it is Honey. And I know Xena is your family now. And gods know, she has done so much for all of us. I can see that now. It's just...I just...I can't get used to the idea of you traipsing all over the world, risking your life, associating with all kinds of rogues. There's so much good in life, right here. Honey, if you stay with her...with Xena...you won't ever have those things. Ever know the joy of raising a family."

"I had a daughter once. You saw how that turned out."

"Sweetheart, that never would have happened if you had been here at home, safe, with me."

Gabrielle shook her head. "I can't argue with you. It is dangerous out there. There are things that have happened to me that I hope you never know about. There have been times..." Her voice caught in her throat. "...There have been times I've cried myself to sleep, wanting nothing more than you to be there, to hug me, and tell me it's okay."

Hector's eyes glistened with tears. He made no move to brush them away.

"But Daddy, I was dying here. I am not the little girl you hoped I'd be."

Hector started shaking his head, and reached across the table to take Gabrielle's hand.

"I will always love you Daddy, and I will always need you. But I have to follow my own destiny."

Hector nodded and sqeezed her hand. "I know."

They were silent for several moments before Hector continued.

"I wish I liked Xena better. It would make all this easier. Please don't misunderstand - I accept how important she is to you, and I even respect her abilities. I just don't...LIKE her very much."

Gabrielle gave a lopsided grin. "Xena can be a little overwhelming, can't she?"

Hector snorted with sudden laughter. "Overwhelming? Gods, child, you do have a gift for understatement!"

"She takes a little getting used to," Gabrielle chuckled.

"Gab, she's just so damn competent at everything. How does anyone not feel like an idiot around her?"

"Well Daddy, I'll tell you a secret. She does have a few weak points, but she only lets them be seen by people she trusts completely."

"I guess I won't hold my breath then. Somehow I don't see us becoming great friends, which is okay. If she makes you happy, AND you come to visit a bit more often, I can live with that."

"I love you Daddy."

"I love you too, Honey."


The path was less rocky, and the branches hung lower than Gabrielle remembered. As she followed the ancient trail she found herself wanting to break into the run she had so often used to follow this same path when she was a child. But the uncertainty she faced at the end of the path slowed her.

When her father had described the spot to which her mother retreated, Gabrielle had stared in disbelief. First it shocked her that her mother would ever need a haven to seclude herself in, and then to realize it was the same glen she herself had hidden in as a child left her shaking her head.

But her father's directions were accurate. He had followed his wife one day and had lived to regret it. So now Gabrielle followed the worn path of her own confused youth, unsure of what she would find, but knowing she needed to face it.

And face it she would. For too long now she had buried her feelings about her parents. The resolution with her father had been a blessed relief to both of them, for they had always known each other well, and loved each other easily.

But Gabrielle knew her mother's heart would not so easily open.

The sun played shadow games on the path before her, teasing her to guess it's next move. An angry squirrel barked at her from a limb overhead, and in the distance she heard a hawk screech. These were things she understood, things she had known like second nature since she could remember. Why, then, was her mother's heart such a mystery?

The woods thinned now, and Gabrielle could see the small pond sparkling past the oak trunks. The glen was just a hundred paces beyond the pond. She slowed, to give herself time to prepare.

I can't let her make me feel useless, she thought. I need to stand up, to assert myself. I have nothing to be ashamed of, much to be proud of. She needs to see that, to see who I am, she thought. A deep breath, stand tall. She looked at the woods around her with a sense of mastery, summoning from the trees a feeling of quiet strength. She was ready.


But she was not ready for the sight of her mother. The older woman sat on a log, idly picking over a basket of berries, casting out insects. There was nothing notably wrong with her outward appearance, but shoulders slumped as if in defeat, and her hands moved with a lethargy unfamiliar to Gabrielle. Her mother, who had always been quick, strong, and decisive about her movements, now seemed utterly without direction. She didn't look up as Gabrielle crossed the small clearing to her. The younger woman cleared her throat.

"Hello Mom. Daddy said you'd be here."

"Hello Gabrielle." Hecuba shook the basket.

Gabrielle searched for another opening line. "I thought you and Lilla were going to do wash today?"

"Lilla said she'd take care of it. She knew I wanter some time alone." For the first time, Hecuba looked up.

Gabrielle could hold the gaze only a second or two, then she looked away. "You're lucky to have Lilla. She must be a big help."

"Yes. She is."

A hundred responses flashed through Gabrielle's mind, some angry, most sarcastic, and all certain to aggravate the fragile situation. So instead she began looking for acorns, gathering two handfulls before her searching brought her back to Hecuba's seat.

When she looked down at her mother again, she was startled to find she had set aside the berry basket and was simply watching her daughter. Gabrielle flushed.

"What!? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Hecuba didn't answer right away. Instead she picked up the satchel she carried and started to rumage. After a moment she set it aside.

"I just can't get over how much you've changed Gabrielle."

Suddenly Gabrielle's entire focus was on her mother. She wielded her own gaze like a weapon.

"No Mom, I haven't changed. I just stopped trying to be something I wasn't, something I thought you wanted me to be."

Hecuba maintained eye contact with her daughter. Then she gave a small shake of her head. "Gabrielle, I never wanted you to be anything but yourself. Where I failed was that I could never understand, never reach the person you turned out to be."

"You were so independant, so brave even as a child, so full of imagination. You were everything I ever wanted to be but wasn't." Now Hecuba's voice started to break.

Gabrielle was at a loss, She had played this scene in her mind a dozen times, and had never anticipated that confession. Something Xena had said niggled at her mind, something about a mother's need.

"Gabrielle I love you. I always have. But I just didn't know how to show it in a way you could accept. You...frightened me sometimes. Eventually it was easier to just let you go, to walk separate paths, to stop trying to reach you."

"When, Mom. When did you stop trying to reach me?" Gabrielle's voice was a mixture of anger and confusion.

"I'm not sure. When Lilla was born she was sick most of the time. You took care of yourself and I was so grateful. I didn't have to entertain you, or watch out for you. You were a busy mother's dream. Then later, when I had time again, you were already lost to me, already full of your own dreams. If you hurt yourself and I tried to help, you pushed me away. When your feelings were hurt, you were too proud to let me console you. I got to where I didn't try because it hurt me to be rejected. I was so selfish." Hecuba took a shaking breath. "And I am so sorry Gabrielle."

Gabrielle knew she should embrace her mother, tell her she loved her, tell her it was alright.

But she couldn't make herself take that first step. A lifetime of resistance, of habit, wouldn't let her.

She stood awkwardly, searching for something to divert both of their attentions. Her gaze fell on the satchel her mother had set aside.

"Uhm. What's in the bag Mom?"

Hecuba gave a sad smile. Just some things that remind me of you. Look if you'd like."


Gabrielle hesitantly picked up the bag and opened it. Memories long dormant swarmed to her consciousness.

A ribbon she used to wear in her hair. A child's scarf. A rag doll, it's cloth worn thin from handling and hugging. A necklace of dried flowers she had once given her mother. She could feel a constriction in her chest.

And in the bottom corner, a wooden lamb, made by Senticles.

She realized immediately that this was her own lamb, not the one Xena had given her for Solstice, and she had then given to Hope.

But it was too late. The memory of her own daughter crashed in on her like a flood held back too long by a rickety dam. The child she had born in such pain, had nursed, had loved, had abandoned. The child whose evil nature was so evident, yet so irrelevant to a mother who loved her with all her heart. Gabrielle had loved Hope as only a mother could, without reservation. without qualification, with her whole being.

Just as her own mother loved her.

And she had been forced to kill that child, not once, but three times, the final bloody death occurring not ten feet from where she slept the night before. And each killing had shattered her heart.

Gabrielle didn't remember falling into her mother's arms. She only knew Hecuba held her, rocking her, kissing her as Gabrielle sobbed out the grief she had held for so long.

It was a grief Xena had been unwilling or unable to soothe. But as Hecuba cradled her child, whom she loved without qualification, Gabrielle finally loosed the agony in her heart and let her mother's love wash away the pain.

The sun had passed the zenith by the time Gabrielle's wracking sobs settled into an uneasy pattern of deep and shallow breaths. Gabrielle thought now about her own little lamb, in the satchel, that her parents, as poor as they had been, had bought for her from the master toy maker. She realized finally that she needed neither their approval or even their understanding. She needed their love and it had always been there.

"I love you Mom."

Hecuba choked on a sob. "Oh Gabrielle. I love you so much."

They sat together for a long time, just holding on.


EPILOGUE

"Oh. No Gabrielle. Not the green stinky stuff."

"Yes, the green stinky stuff. You don't want an ugly scar on the back of your shoulder do you?"

"I don't care about a stupid scar on my shoulder."

"Well I do. Shut up and hold still."

Gabrielle rubbed the ointment into the cut while the warrior muttered something unkind about sailors. Gabrielle just grinned.

"Don't forget your turn is next," Xena growled.

"I know, I know. And if you give me another massage like last night it'll be worth it." Gabrielle capped the jar.

"Maybe you give ME a massage for a change."

"Maybe you explain how you got that cut, and tell me the truth this time, and maybe I will."

"Oh alright."


Lilla was checking the laundry on the line when Gabrielle and Hecuba had emerged from the woods that afternoon, arm in arm.

"Hello!" she called as they drew closer. "Laundry's almost dry, Mom. Looks like you spent your day productively." She smiled broadly at her mother and then Gabrielle.

"Yes," replied Hecuba. "We certainly did."

"Well the sight of you two together is the second most surprising thing I've seen today. And I still don't understand the first one."

It was Gabrielle's turn to be confused. "What are you talking about, Sis?"

"When you go inside, don't be startled by Daddy and his new best buddy. They've been into the ale for at least two hours, and the last time I was in the house they were having a dirty joke contest."

"Daddy? Into the ale?...Who?.."

"Just go look." Lilla shook her head.

The sight that greeted them them made Gabrielle wonder if she herself had been into the ale.

Hector and Xena sat side by side at the kitchen table, a jug of ale between them. They were hoisting their mugs in toast.

"And here's to the REST of the Argonauts!" roared Hector.

"Here, here," answered Xena, and they both drained their mugs.

Gabrielle and Hecuba turned to each other in astonishment, then stared at their partners again.

Hector had seen them by now. "Hi Hon, hi Gab! We've missed you!"

"We can tell."

"Join us for a mug. Or two."

Gabrielle just shook her head and smiled. "I think you two are doing just fine on your own. We'll go help Lilla."

Just then Xena twisted away to reach for another jug, and Gabrielle saw a bandage wrapped on her shoulder.

"Uh Xena. What happened to your shoulder?" she asked, then thought better of it. "Never mind, I don't think I want to know right now."

"It's just a scratch Gabrielle."

"That's right," chimed Hector. "Just a scratch." He emptied the jug into their mugs. "Hey, we haven't toasted Iolus yet!"

"Here, here," intoned Xena, while Hecuba and Gabrielle retreated from the house.


"So out with it, Xena. What happened to your shoulder, and what in Tartarus happened between you and Daddy?" Gabrielle was fulfilling her promise of a massage to Xena.

"First off, lower your voice. I have a headache."

"I wonder why."

"Do you want to hear this or not?"

"Okay, okay. I'll whisper if you want." Gabrielle had moistened her hands with oil and kneaded the warrior's back, feeling each muscle and working the knots out with her strong fingers.

"Remember you told me once that your father always sharpens the tools for everyone in Potedea?"

Gabrielle nodded. "Yeah. He's always been proud that his tools and knives have the keenest edges in the whole region. He's really good at it. But what's that got to do with you and him?"

"I asked him to sharpen my sword for me."

Gabrielle was stunned. No one touched Xena's sword, not even Gabrielle except in an emergency. She said as much now.

"Yeah, but your Dad has some nice sharpening stones, and my sword was pretty dull."

"Since when? You hone that thing every night!"

"Since I whacked that boulder behind the barn a half dozen times. Really can take the edge off."

"Wait. You deliberately dulled your sword so you could ask Daddy to sharpen it? Xena, what time did you start drinking?"

Xena ignored the question. "He gave me three shades of grief for letting such a fine weapon get into that condition. Really seemed to enjoy the lecture, too."

The vision of her father sternly lecturing a contrite Xena was almost too much for Gabrielle. She forgot the task at hand and rolled back on her heels.

"Hey! You're not finished yet!" complained Xena.

"Oh. Yeah. Right." Gabrielle resumed her work and Xena sighed with pleasure.

"So go on. How did your shoulder get cut?"

"Hm. Well. It's a little embarrassing actually."

The day had seen too many wonders for Gabrielle to let this curiosity slide by. "Hm. Well. You can just tell me anyway, or is it something you can only share with your buddy Hector?" She dug her fingers into Xena's trapezius muscles.

"Ow! Okay!"

Gabrielle relented, and now caressed the muscle instead.

"We were just messing around. You know. Hector had a sword in to sharpen for someone across town, and he was showing me the balance and heft in the blade. I was comparing it to mine, doing some spins and jabs, and then I went to sheath it."

"And?"

"And I forgot I wasn't wearing my scabbard."

"Oh."

"Hector was great. I wasn't going to make anything of it, you know how I am."

"Oohh yeah."

"But he took over and held the bandage 'till it stopped bleeding, then wrapped it. Then insisted we needed to kill the pain."

"You killed it alright."

"You're raising your voice again."

"Sorry."

Her curiosity satisfied, Gabrielle turned her full attention to her task. Neither woman spoke for the next twenty minutes as Gabrielle expertly worked the tension from Xena's entire body. The warrior breathed deeply, contentedly, sighing occasionally when Gabrielle's strong hands worked a particularly sore spot.

"Xena?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"Hmm."


The End

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