I've got you under my skin

And so the second ep in the four part India arc continues with Devi, which despite some minor quibbles, is one of the better eps of the season. Wherever Xena and Gabrielle travel, their "problems and concerns" are never run of the mill, such as, "Should we drink the water?" "What is the current exchange rate?" and "How do we say, "Where is the bathroom?" in the native tongue?" Much too mundane for our grrls; instead, they get into a peck of trouble with an evil spirit who takes a liking to Gabrielle.

Until now, Gabrielle has had an evil look alike (Hope), but nothing like this -- this is true blue demonic possession. I must say, I like this version of an evil Gabrielle - much like a sexed-up 'n sadistic Mae West. Tataka (the evil spirit leasing the fab abs for an indeterminate amount of time) is not gonna give up her new digs without a fight. Xena must pull out some heavy artillery from her bag o' tricks (an exorcism and a good ol' fashioned ass kicking) to free Gabrielle from the clutches of the body snatching demoness of destruction.

CAVALCADE OF CHARACTERS

• Eli: the traveling, Pre-Mycenaean Houdini Healer Man - a trick up one sleeve and a miracle up the other.
• Vikram: the paranoid priest.
• Maya: Eli's faithful, rope climbing assistant who is prone to dismemberment and demon possession.
• Gabrielle / Tataka: full time hard body with part time polar personality swings: bard and best friend of the W.P. or power-hungry demoness.
• Xena: part skeptic, part pugilist, and part leather-clad exorcist.

NOT SO SUCCINCT STORY SYNOPSIS

Xena and Gabrielle mosey around an Indian marketplace doing the touristy lookee lookee; they stop to watch a magic show. During the hocus pocus, Eli (the magician) sends his assistant, Maya, up a rope and into the ether. When she falls back to earth, Maya is possessed by a spirit (Tataka) -- not very friendly one at that. Maya attacks Eli, Xena intervenes, a watermelon lobbing, board-breaking rumpus ensues, and when the dust settles, it seems Gabrielle has magically cast the demon from Maya. The locals start calling Gabrielle "Devi" and insist that she can heal any ailment. Soon, Gabrielle has a cadre of Devi Devotees; meanwhile, Xena is suspicious and Eli is jealous of Gabrielle's healing hands. Gabrielle starts to dress funny, rabid mutts try to turn Eli into a chew toy, and Xena has yet another mystery to solve. She realizes that Eli is the Devi and Gabrielle is just the newest body to house the evil spirit of Tataka. The challenge now: Xena must convince Gabrielle she is a harbinger of evil -- without Gabrielle taking offense (which she does) and exorcise the demon from Gabrielle -- with Eli's help. Eli lends a hand and Gabrielle gets her sweet little body back, much to Xena's relief. The End.

ALTERNATE TITLES FOR THIS EP

• You Spin Me Right Round Baby Right Round
• The Exorcist
• Sizzzzzzzle Lean!
• Miracle on Alibaba Street

THEME SONG FOR THIS EP

Rod Stewart's "If You Think I'm Sexy" becomes "I Think Gab Is Sexy" as sung by Tataka:

"I think Gab is sexy,
And I want her body,
Eventually, I'll have her soul,
Xena, if you want her,
Gotta come and get her,
Cuz I refuse to let her go."

FASHION STATEMENTS: BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL

Bare bellies are beautiful! If the little Amazon outfit must go, I cannot think of a better replacement than the tight, ¾ sleeve gold scoop neck fab ab exposing halter bra and the hip hugging 'how low can you go' sarong! Whew! Has the temperature gone up or what?

FASHION STATEMENTS: UGLY AND UNBECOMING

• Is Gabrielle a Bead Craft Still Life or a ring toss receptacle for Mardi Gras beads?
• The giant tablecloth draped over Gabrielle's head (not to be confused with the petite, gold scarf she wore later in the ep - now that was so very Grace Kelly).

BURNING QUESTIONS

• So, Xena has tried 'stranger things' than yoga...like what?
• When Tataka possesses Maya, she has 'white eyes' (much like Callisto and Velasca had after eating Ambrosia), but when Tataka assimilates Gabrielle, she does not. Why?
• What was the scruffy little Toto-esque Scottie dog doing amongst all the big bad mongrels?
• Was Tataka's possession of Gabrille part-time, full-time, or a gradual takeover? I never quite knew when Gabrielle was herself and when she wasn't.
• Gabrielle's low slung sarong begs this question -- do you wear underwear or go commando?
• [Netgyrl thought the term was "regimental"?]
• Is it part of 'Devi duty' to sleep in full makeup?
• Why do evil people have to speak and scheme out loud?
• Xena tells Eli she will not kill Gabrielle in order to exorcise Tataka.  Xena attempts an exorcism and fails, but eventually overpowers Tataka.  Why does Xena go for the kill? Why doesn't Xena knock Tataka out and try another exorcism later? Would killing Gabrielle kill Tataka or just drive her out and into another body? Would Xena really have skewered Gabrielle? Inquiring minds want to know!
• When Eli called upon Abba for help, was it 'Abba' or 'ABBA'?

QUIBBLES

In this ep, Gabrielle suffers from a chronic, twofold affliction: power trippin' and possession. I'll address the former. Gabrielle has a history of mishandling power and needing Xena to bail her out.

Case study #1: The Titans -- she assumed more sway over the giants than she actually had. How did that tall tale end? Xena to the rescue.

Case study #2: Hooves and Harlots -- when Gabrielle was given the right of caste and then forced to fulfill her first official Centaur execution, which she was unable to do, how did that dicey situation resolve? Xena to the rescue.

Case study #3: Devi -- Gabrielle has the ability to heal (albeit given to her by an evil spirit) and quickly becomes accustomed to the power and adoration showered upon her by the burgeoning flock of Devi Groupies. Care to guess the how this supernatural situation will end?

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• Maya's parts -- shiny, rubbery, and much too bouncy to be mistaken for anything other than cheesy Halloween leftovers.
• Why must every demon possession be accompanied by eyerolling, arm flailing, leg kicking, unintelligible screeching, and 'speeding it up to 78 rpm's, fish-flopping-on-dry-land' theatrics?
• During Ravi and Xena's temple tussle, the tile floor buckled and shifted.
• Renee's stunt double was so obvious in the final fight scene.
• Tick! Tock! You're toast! Gabrielle was under the pinch for more than 30 seconds.
• At worst, Tataka roughed up some villagers and hung a priest. This is not to say Tataka wasn't evil (she was), but her actions prior to the showdown with Xena just weren't wicked enough to justify killing Gabrielle.

KIBBLES AND BITS

• Really diggin' the Indian music -- LoDuca gives this ep just the right foreign flavor.
• Verrrry interesting…Gabrielle, despite near death at Aidan's hands, continues to practice his yoga poses and breathing techniques.
• Quite the fetching 'boob' statue in the temple. It would be quite the complimentary conversation piece next to the Yin Yang bed, don't you think?
• Xena faking her hypnosis and fooling Eli.
• The rabid Hellhound cam!
• The Devi Posse!
• On the balcony, Gabrielle's look of ego swelling gratification as she drinks in the praise and adulation showered upon her by the throng of Devi Devotees.
• The wall painting in the temple depicting a blond haired, pearl adorned, Egyptian eyed doppelganger of Gabrielle. Nice cut between the wall mural and Gabrille striking the same pose in her Gazebo de Adore Me.
• Xena vs. Tataka: Xena holding Gabrielle's quill in one hand and the holy water flask in the other (loved the cork popping *thwink!*)
• The red paint on Gabrielle's toasted toes.

SCENES TOO SAD TO SEE AGAIN

While an excellent brawl, it was hard to watch Xena and Gabrielle engage in a high octane ass-kicking, face smacking, bloody knuckle body banging, one liner tossing, down-out-and-you're dead, rock 'em sock 'em chick fight.

SCENES THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM...

Xena and Gabrielle stop to ponder pretzel man...

G: "Now do you see why I do yoga every day?"
X: "So you don't end up like that?"
G: "Xena, he's a master. I can only hope to achieve that kind of power."
X: "Don't get me wrong -- gods know I've done stranger things,  but yoga's just not me."
G: "That's all right. When you're crippled and old and I'm doing headstands, I'll remind you of this."
X: "Oh, I bet you will."

SCORCHY SEXY NOT SO SUBTEXT

Be still my beating heart -- a shoulder massage! Gabrielle lays her healing hands upon Xena...

X: "Oh, yeah, that's great. Maybe you are a Devi after all."

Xena and Gabrielle's tense and tearful 'demon or darling?' tiff…

G: "I just know you have doubts about me. And I tell you that this power is good and that it's my calling. And instead of being happy for me, you think I'm evil."
X: "Oh no, don't cry. Don't cry now. I'm sorry."

That Tataka is feisty...

Gabrielle/Tataka: "You want me out? You're gonna have to kill this sweet little body to do it. I don't think you can."
Xena: "Watch me."

and fresh-mouthed...

Xena: "Give Gabrielle back!"
Gabrielle/Tataka: "Come and get her."

and flirtatious!

Xena: "I'm warning you, Tataka, get out while you still can."
Gabrielle/Tataka: "And give up this face? And this firm, strong body?  Fat chance." *licks Xena's cheek*

Gabrielle's head resting in Xena's lap and Xena kissing Gabrielle's forehead -- their sweet, post-exorcism 'blood, sweat, and tears', reunion.

QUICK - HIT THE REWIND BUTTON

• Gabrielle cheerfully, impishly volunteering Xena as 'the skeptic' during Eli's magic show.
• Xena using her whip to spin the demon possessed Maya like a top.
• Xena and Ravi dukin' it out in the temple.
• Xena's ground to balcony 'under the radar' flip.
• Gabrielle / Tataka licking Xena's cheek and emitting that little growly moan.
• Is it a kick or a means of transportation? Xena's distance chewing cannonball corkscrew kick.

XENA SAYS THE DAMNEDEST THINGS

"That's gotta hurt."

Eli: "So is she?"
Xena: "What?"
Eli: "Your friend, Gabrielle. Is she really a Devi?"
Xena: "Not the last time I looked."

Eli: "I thought you might be trouble."
Xena: "What makes you think I'm not?"

G: "Underneath all this, I'm still me."
X: "Thank goodness, for a moment there you had me worried."

Xena: "We have to have an exorcism."
Eli: "Exorcism?"

Xena: "Either that or I kill her. And I won't kill Gabrille."

GABRIELLE SAYS THE DARNEDEST THINGS

"I'm not what you think I am. I'm not a Devi."

X: 'C'mon, get up. We can do some yoga and we can get something to eat. We can be on the road by noon."
G: "Yoga? We're going to do yoga? As in you and me? Ok, who are you and what have you done with Xena."

G to X: "Fine. You want to test me? Let's do it. Let's see if sacred water eats through my skin, shall we? Huh? Am I sizzling now? Am I burning? Am I still evil incarnate, Xena?"

Xena: "Looking for me?"
Gabrille/Tataka: "Not anymore."

Gabrille/Tataka: "An exorcism? Really Xena, don't you think that's the pot calling the kettle black?"

XENA'S SKILLS

• Skeptic
• Watermelon tosser
• Spin doctor
• Dog catcher
• Temple trasher
• Holy water bearer
• Pincushion
• Trampoline

GABRIELLE'S SKILLS

• Healer
• Harbinger of evil
• Finder of lost eyes
• Still life with pearls
• Fire-walking

SCENES FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

The unheard mental dialogue of Xena and Tataka during their showdown...

What Xena Says: "Give Gabrielle back."
   What Xena Thinks: *What is it with Gabrielle and evil spirits anyway?*

What Tataka Says: "And give up this face?"
   What Tataka Thinks: *And these absolutely fabulous abs of steel?*

What Xena Says: "Get out now, Tataka."
   What Xena Thinks: *Gabrielle is mine, not yours*

What Tataka Says: "You want me out? You're gonna have to kill this sweet little body to do it. I don't think you can."
   What Tataka Thinks: "Oooo, feisty and into leather. Maybe I won't get rid of her just yet*

What Xena Says: "Watch me."   
  What Xena Thinks: *On second thought, Gabrielle's bellybutton is such a nice olive holder...*

The question Eli really meant to ask Xena…

E: "So is she?"
X: "What?"
E: "Your friend, Gabrielle. Is she really a blond?"
X: "Not the last time I looked."

After gazing at Pretzel man in the marketplace...

X: "Gabrielle, why yoga? Why would you want to put your ankles behind your head?"
G: "Well, I could say because of the relaxation, but do you want to know the real reason?"
X: "Yes."
G: "Remember that frieze in Aphrodite's temple -- the one with the two bodies intertwined?"
X: "The position you thought wasn't humanly possible."
G: "Right."
X: *confused for a moment, then the lightbulb goes off, she smirks* "Riiiight."

Eli leaves shortly after the exorcism. Xena tries to figure out if Gabrielle is still Gabrielle or whether Tataka is still 'hanging' around'...

X: "Hey Gabrielle, you up for some yoga?"
G: "Huh?"
X: "Or would you rather braid my hair while we have a sensitive chat?"
G: "What?"
X: "Hungry? I'll cook dinner."
G: *feels Xena's forehead for fever* "Are you feeling ok?"
X: "I'm feeling fine, Gabrielle. What would you like to do? Maybe you would rather play a game of charades?"
G: "Now I know something's wrong."
X: "What do you mean?"
G: "You're trying to see if I'm really me."
X: "No I'm not." *dismissive hand wave*
G: "Yes, you are. You still think I'm possessed by that demon, don't you?"
X: "Don't be silly."
G: "Don't be patronizing."
X: "I have a great idea, why don't we --" *whispers in Gabrielle's ear*
G: *both of Gabrielle's eyebrows shoot up and she blushes a deep shade of red*
X: "C'mon Gabrielle, we do it _all_ the time." *she lies and gives Gabrielle her best 'used chariot salesman' smile*
G: "Um, instead of doing that provocative thing with the ropes, honey, and feathers - which, believe me, if we did that all the time we would get nothing else done -- I have a better idea."
X: "What could be better than that?"
G: "Something that will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not possessed."
X: "And how will you do that?"
G: *Gabrielle starts dancing -- herky-jerky and arrhythmic a la the Amazon dance*
X: "You can stop now, Gabrielle, I'm convinced. Tataka had much better rhythm."
G: "Well, nice to know you believe me and you won't be trying to skewer me in my sleep."
*they share a moment of comfy silence, then Xena clears her throat*
X: "Is there any possibility that you'll lick my face again?"
G: *shoots a saucy look* "Only if you beg."
X: "What if I say 'please'?"
G: "Well, I suppose --"
X: "Would you do that throaty little sound too?"
G: "Xena!"
X: "Please?"
G: *smiles suggestively*

DISCLAIMER

In memory of Women's Best Friend:  Bear, Dodger, Kali, Samantha, Taffy, and Bear.

TAUNT ME, TEASE ME, NEXT WEEK'S EP

Is this a flashback? A flashforward? Or a bad dream wrought of exotic food? Ol' Raccoon Eyes (Alti) makes the evil gal rounds again and watches in fascination as Xena and Gabrielle perform synchronized vogue-ing and Gabrielle's head is attacked by a giant turban.

LaLa